Ghosts of Convertibles Past
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: The Ghostbusters encountered some weird stuff...well, most of the time actually. Sometimes that stuff was weirder than usual though. Like, W-I-E-R-D, where spelling would be wrong, and sanity went the way of Ecto-1. Speaking of which...


**Ghosts of Convertibles Past**

"Ah man, that is just _wrong_ ," Patty exclaimed

Was it, Erin reflected? Was this apparition really the strangest thing they'd encountered in their first year of operation? Did this particular phantasm trump mannequins, Thanksgiving Day balloons, an animated spirit of their own logo bent on destroying the world, and most terrifying of her, that time the kitchen sink had become alive? Well, not technically alive, but in a world that was throwing everything but the kitchen sink at them, cutlery could be the stuff of nightmares.

"So, a class five then?" Abby asked. "Non-humanoid form? Or a class six, since it's maybe got the intellect of an animal?"

A growl occurred, and not from the ghost. Erin shot her friend a look.

"Abby?" she asked. "I don't think Holtzmann likes her baby being called an animal."

"Well, what is it then?" Patty asked. "Certainly ain't no animal or vegetable-"

"Mineral?" Erin asked.

"Mineral isn't in the classification system."

"I know, I just-"

"Oh just bust the damn ghost!"

"Oh. Right."

The sound of four proton backs filled the emptiness of Times Square. Not a usual state of affairs, but then again, what _had_ been usual in the last year, Erin wondered? Getting a college job, losing a college job, setting up a business, losing that business, having that business be funded by the office of the mayor on the basis that "we know supernatural entities exist, but we can't admit we do, even though everyone else knows they do, so we'll let you do your thing, if you do it quietly, which is kind of impossible because you're wearing nuclear accelerators (a.k.a. proton packs, trademarked 2016), and-"

"It's coming straight for us!"

Erin shook her head and began firing said fully licensed nuclear accelerator at the apparition. Watching as the beams of light found their way around its semi-corporeal form. Reflecting how this had all started with tales of a so-called ghost car. Of taxis going missing during the night, and not for reasons that involved a lack of tips. Reflecting that this had all begun one year ago, and now, things had come full circle. As they saw the ghost of their past, both figurative and literal. The ghost they had confronted after they had rolled up in Ecto-2. The ghost that she supposed had every right to be angry, if not for the fact that they were confronting the ghost of Ecto-1, and that by all rights, cars shouldn't have feelings.

Well, Holtzmann might suggest otherwise, as might Patty's Uncle Bill, but the former was borderline insane, and the latter worked with dead people for a living. Which didn't seem so freaky these days, come to think of it. Actually-

"Erin!"

"Huh?" She snapped too. "Oh!"

She tightened her grip – Ecto-1 was roaring and revving like a hooligan in a drag race. A one car drag race where the objective was to kill the bystanders. Wasn't there a videogame like that once? Either way, the ghost was now contained. Returned from the other side, come back to pester the living, and do…whatever it wanted to do with Ecto-2. Which was silly. Cars didn't have grudges against other cars. That was just unscientific.

"We've got it!" Abbey yelled. "Holtzmann!"

Erin glanced at the team's engineer. She was keeping Ecto-1 under control, but this…this was like killing your cat. Or something. Erin didn't like cats. They were always half in this world, half in another one.

"Holtzmann!"

"Got it!" Holding her pack with one hand, she tossed out the muon trap, its solid form passing through Ecto-1 to land right under it. Car maintenance, Erin supposed. She'd have thought of something far wittier to say, but for some reason she was thinking of cats and dogs living together in a house owned by Erwin Schrödinger, who looked like Kevin for some reason.

Must have been the glasses, she supposed.

It didn't take long after that. Ecto-1 roared, and revved, but nature took its course, as it was drawn into the muon trap. Another ghost busted, another pay check on the way, another potential lawsuit for property damage. But all of that paled in comparison to the silence that descended over the Ghostbusters.

"So," Erin said. "I think we should say a few words."

Patty glanced at her. "You on something girl?"

"Well, y'know…it was our first car, and it sacrificed itself…well we sacrificed it…by blowing it up through an inter-dimensional portal." Erin shrugged. "I figure…well…"

"Oh fine," Holtzmann exclaimed. She walked over and picked up the ghost trap. "Dear Ecto-One. You were a Cadillac, and not our first choice of vehicle, but our first car. You didn't have a dead guy in the boot, but you smelt of cadavers anyway. You did thirty miles to the galleon, you couldn't go over sixty miles per hour, but you were our baby, and we'll miss you." She took a deep breath and wiped something off her glasses. "Right after we put you in a laser containment grid that's pissing off the EPA for some reason."

Erin looked at Patty, then Abbey, then Holtzmann, then Ecto-2. Glad that it was over. Glad that Holtzmann had held up. Glad that Ecto-2 could go 70mph at 35 miles to the galleon, and was fully insured.

"That was beautiful," Patty whispered.

So the quartet began walking back to the car. Day saved, ghost busted, only one thing left to do and that was-

"Shotgun!" Patty called out.

"Damn it!"


End file.
